


The truth of you (How Beatrice’s Way to a Happy Marriage goes through the Buying of a Strap-On)

by Wheel_of_fortune



Category: Much Ado About Nothing (2011), Much Ado About Nothing - Shakespeare
Genre: BDSM, Bad Sex, Crossdressing, F/M, First Time, Sex Toys, that will eventually become good sex, well it's already canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-09 23:07:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20517947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wheel_of_fortune/pseuds/Wheel_of_fortune
Summary: Beatrice doesn’t know how she’s going to survive this marriage if she can’t even spread her legs and enjoy it.





	The truth of you (How Beatrice’s Way to a Happy Marriage goes through the Buying of a Strap-On)

**Author's Note:**

> ooh i'll try to write a pwp! i told myself. yeah right. seven chapters ahead. feelings, some plot, love and marriage first. communication. and THEN we get to the pegging.

‘What are you doing, back there, are you waiting for the return of Christ?’ snapped Beatrice, removing yet another bobby pin from the maelstrom of curls that was currently her red hair. 

‘Patience, my bride,’ muttered Benedick between his teeth. ‘It’s not my fault your dress has more buttons than you have wits.’  
‘Oy! Are you saying that I am dumb?’  
‘What I am saying is that your dress has many, many, many buttons. Do not fear, if there is something I am aware you possess in great amount, is wits.’

‘And beauty?’  
‘And beauty. And buttons too, apparently. This dress is a crime against reason.’  
‘This DRESS cost my father a pretty penny, and makes me look more beautiful than I ever was, so I’ll pry you to respect it down to every single stitch, buttons included.’

‘Psh, you don’t need all this to be beautiful, you shine brighter than the sun, in beauty and wits-’

‘Yes, yes, I already married you, hours ago, in fact. You do not need to convince me further, I already bought the cow.’

Benedick lifted his head with indignation, mouth open and ready to retort his love, when he saw her smirk. He snorted and went back to his task.

‘Now who’s being insulting?’ he said. ‘My bride is calling me a cow.’  
‘What I am calling you is slow. Why am I still dressed?’  
‘I would rip this off you with my bare teeth if I thought they would rise to the challenge. On the other hand, my uniform does come with a sword. Just give me a moment-’

‘Do not DARE. This is the prettiest thing I have ever worn.’

He lifted his head once again and tried to catch her eye.

‘Need I repeat myself? I find you beautiful today, as I did yesterday when I saw you wearing sweatpants. Satin, flowers and pearls do not alter my perception of you, my love.’

‘Nice words,’ she mumbled through her awkwardness. ‘But this dress cost my father ten times what an everyday dress costs, so it stands to reason that it makes me ten times more beautiful than what I am everyday.’

‘This is not how money, beauty or mathematics ever worked.’

‘Just undress me and let’s get on with it.’

‘Oh Beatrice, my bride, my love, ever the romantic.’

She bit her lip, and kept undoing her hair. It was still standing somewhat on its own, with the amount of product the hairdresser had applied. Benedick undid the last button with a triumphant shout, and turned her around to kiss her once again.

This, she liked. This, she knew how to do. She loved kissing him, wondered how she could have spent years trying to shut him up with words when she could have shut him up with lips. So much time lost on hating the glorious idiot. Well, she’d married the glorious idiot in front of friends, family and God, so what did it say about her. She was currently quite satisfied with that development, he was very talented with his tongue. 

‘Please, please, please, my bride, allow me to undress you further.’  
‘You may,’ she said with grace, stepping off her shoes. 

He pulled the dress back from her shoulders and helped her step out of it. She felt quite ridiculous, standing there, encaged in white lace and more satin. Well, she didn’t feel as ridiculous as he looked, all wide eyes and open mouth. Are you allowed to compare your husband to a dead fish on your wedding night? Better not. Bad form.

‘You, my dear, are a ravishment-’

‘No, no more words. It’s your turn to get naked, go on, get.’  
‘No sweeter command has ever crossed your lips.’

He undid the buttons and clasps of his uniform and removed his shoes, socks and pants, to stand in his underwear. He was twiggy, this husband of hers, but she liked the shape of his shoulders and the leanness of his shape. She felt like she could encircle his waist with her two hands, as men did to their corseted wives in ancient times. She felt she could crush him, with her body, her thighs, her personality, and he would thank her for it. What a delightful thought. 

He lifted an eyebrow, and she laughed of nerves. He followed suit, and soon they were the same idiots they’d always been. He took her hand. 

‘Come, my Beatrice, let’s christen the wedding bed.’  
‘How formulaic,’ she said, following him.

They laid down and kissed, and kissed, and kissed. She gave herself the permission to touch, and be touched in return. She discovered several things about him and ever more things about herself. He grabbed her breasts and her breasts learned they loved to be grabbed. He kissed her skin, and transformed her body into undiscovered lands. He pressed her against him, she felt his manhood through the fabric, and felt hunger. Yes, she wanted this, she wanted it now, and more, and forever. 

They removed their undergarments and didn’t find humor in their nakedness. There was a feeling of wonder and urgency in the delicate touches shared to forbidden areas. 

‘Do you want to?’ she said, breathlessly, witlessly.

‘Yes- yes, more than life itself,’ he whispered back. 

‘Alright, how do we-’  
‘You decide, my love, I am here but to please you-’

‘Yes, I got that, but you are the more experienced one between us two, so if you got secret techniques up your sleeve now would be the time to share them.’

‘Just- lie on your back, let me do the rest.’

She did, and opened her legs self-consciously. This was ridiculous. Did all women since creation go through this mortifying ordeal? How could having the one person you loved more than anything stand there and just stare at your most shameful parts be romantic?

‘This is not a tourist attraction,’ she muttered between her teeth. ‘Why are you still looking?’

‘I’m admiring your beauty and blessing my luck.’

‘Somehow I don’t believe you find me beautiful even from that angle.’

‘Well, think again, because I do.’

‘Well, I think you look weird.’

He looked down at his erect member and shrugged.

‘God was not as graceful with us as He was with your half. I agree, it does look quite stupid.’  
‘And Lord help me but I still want that thing inside of me.’  
‘This, my wife, it the most exciting news I have ever heard.’

They kissed some more, and she forgot herself in the taste, the smell and the feel of him. 

‘Alright, alright, let’s do the thing.’

And she opened her legs wider. 

He gulped and positioned himself at her entrance. She felt awkward, lying there, legs akimbo, never sure where to place her hands. He pushed a bit and she frowned. He pushed some more and she winced. 

‘Wait- go slower. I’m not sure this is supposed to feel like this.’  
‘I’ll wait,’ he panted. ‘I’ll wait as long as you need.’

‘Hero said it felt great- she wouldn’t stop singing praises of Claudio’s-’

‘Could you NOT talk about Claudio’s member while mine is inside of you? Very few things could currently tame my desire, but this is one of them.’  
‘I’m just saying. This is supposed to feel incredibly good. Move some more.’

He did. She grimaced. He stopped once again. 

‘This is ridiculous. How did humanity flourish if this act hurts so much?’  
‘Believe me, it can be quite pleasurable.’  
‘For you.’

‘I meant for the ladies too-’  
‘Have bedded many of them, have you,’ she said with a sneer. 

‘I- I-’  
‘I shall spare you an answer because if you give me one I’ll kick you out of this bed, I swear. Move some more.’

It went like this, slowly, painfully, until he was fully seated inside of her. It felt like an intrusion. 

‘And we’re supposed to do this every night for the rest of our lives?’ she asked the ceiling. 

‘No, of course not, I would never force you to do something you did not want to do.’  
‘Liar.’  
‘Well, not this, as least.’  
‘Decide right now how many children you want, for I will not allow this travesty outside of pure necessity.’  
‘As you wish,’ he sighed. 

At some point, it stopped hurting. Instead, it just felt weird. 

‘Not that I want you to answer my previous question,’ she muttered, ‘but it must be easier if you’ve done it at least once before.’  
‘I shall refrain from answering, I know a bear trap when I see one.’  
‘Were I a man I would have plucked many young flowers in my life, and come my wedding night I would not know fear, nor hurt.’

He kisses her, gently, on the forehead, and for a moment she forgives the fact that he’s currently inside of her.

‘Do you want to stop?’ he asks.  
‘No. I want to continue. I’m still hoping. Please, move.’

He does, and she gets used to it. Not to the strangeness of the situation, but she liked his body on top of hers, and she liked his sweat, and she liked his kissed. The hunger is still there, and it ends up winning against the awkwardness. She starts feeling pleasure, she starts to understand that there might be something in it for her too. Her arms close around him, her legs the same, and she wants. 

He lasts a long time, the dear boy, he wants to make it good for her. She never quite manages to forget herself and the fear of hurting again, so she never lets go. She wants more of something she can’t reach and can’t describe, and there he is, rutting into her with more desperation each passing moment.

At some point, incredibly, she grows bored.

‘Could you stop- I feel like a plowed field.’  
‘Don’t you want to- I thought,’ he pants, and oh, he looks lovely, all red and open mouth. ‘I thought you were liking it, at least a bit?’  
‘At least a bit,’ she admits, avoiding his eye. ‘Just, could you finish so we can go sleep?’  
‘But I want you to feel pleasure to!’  
‘Please.’

She tried to hide her shame, but it was hard while lying naked under him. He nodded, bit his lower lip, and thrust some more. 

She really loved him, this is the worst part. She wanted to give him this, she wanted to not be difficult in this area of her life. She did like the faces he made and the melody of his panting, but laying there, opened and used, was too high a price to pay.

He went quick, quicker, and reached the end in a whimper. She felt his warm seed invade her and grimaced at the sensation. 

And then, finally, he retreated. She brought him back to her and held his trembling body close. This also, she liked. This, she wanted to keep forever. 

‘I’m going to bathe,’ she mumbles to the night.

He nods, and lets her go. 

When she comes back, the room is dark, the bed is made. Her husband is lying on one side of the bed. She lies next to him, in silence and awkwardness, and both take a long time to fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just chapter one, it gets better after. Precision- Beatrice is not Ace in this, it’s just that the first time can hurt and always feels weird, and not having sex before marriage is a horrible, horrible idea.  
Next chapter: Hero is on a path of passive-agressive revenge.


End file.
